mood/activities/thoughts: (morning next day) I didn’t get a chance to work on the tarot yesterday, as I was too tired. I am a bit disappointed and wanted to be consistent despite any feelings but I’m hoping to make up for it, as I pulled a card before I went to bed to write about today. Friday was me working very little, then doing my hair with koolaid, then heading out for dinner with my peeps (S cubed). I tried to work out in between, but it wasn’t enough, so definitely making up for that today (Aug 8). Koolaid was such a bloody mess but I mostly cleaned everything up nicely and the color really did work on me like it did 6 years ago. At least the mess wasn’t for nothing! The dinner with peeps was nice and refreshing. I missed socializing, kind of. We played my new spot its, and talked and ate wings and other foods. Very filling that I got so tired after. We finally left at midnight (we were last to leave) to go home. It was nice to see them and talk, and hear their perspectives on everything as similar or different they may be. I’m trying not to focus on what has hurt me, but give towards my growth, as much as it still leaves me sad and disappointed. When things don’t happen the way you’d hoped because you’d believed that people you’ve given your best to would also try for you, it’s a challenge to get past. Not impossible, but sometimes you need to stand up for yourself than keep yourself in situations that don’t involve any effort to correct wrongs. I find happiness through my hobbies like learning tarot and exercising.

Tarot Card: The Fool, reversed

Notes on card: feeling like you don’t have all the resources and tools to be successful in project, something is holding you back, maybe timing, worried about taking action when you don’t know outcome, need to control everything, too many risks, exploring adventures and fun on personal and quiet level (dancing alone in bedroom type thing), lack of faith and hope, distracted, stale, dull, you or a lover may be too immature to handle a truly loving relationship now, don’t be so financially reckless, feel blocked from changing job

Reflection: Hm, I definitely still feel I’m in early stages of tarot, that’s for sure. Even the notes I’ve already taken, I have trouble remembering. It makes me feel the journey will take longer than expected. But I’m still motivated. I do have lack of faith in certain areas of life, where I feel I’ve put so much of my time, energy and commitment, but am not getting half of it back. It’s wise to be aware of that and move forward without putting so much into things that don’t show you promising results. I also am stalling on making some decisions which might be holding me back. I am not sure if I’m on the right path, but I hope focusing on what does serve my growth will help me get there.