Mood/activities/thoughts: (night) Almost midnight, wow, where did the time go. This weekend has been eventful. I feel refreshed and happy. I got my tarot book, new rice cooker for mom/dad, and two full new tarot decks. In addition, I got my birthday presents from M finally as he took a trip to see me Saturday into Sunday. I had trouble choosing until I went home to compare them all (he bought two cameras). I ended up choosing SONY proudly, based on the video quality. I love it, it’s so light and works perfectly without an external microphone, surprisingly. I can see myself bringing it everywhere to use to record random happenings seeing how light it is. I also like the one sis got me a lot, it is good on most aspects AND can do WIFI (so that means good for streaming and easily transferring vids). I can’t wait to use them both for my tarot readings. I also got a new electronic toothbrush, so I’ll be brushing up a storm daily now haha. 🙂
I spent the weekend working on my hobbies, seeing M and spending much needed quality time, and then more time examining my gifts, cards, and tarot books. I am so excited to be on this journey and can feel it slowly all coming together. I know this will definitely happen if I set my mind to it more continuously and despite work starting this week. I haven’t even called parents yet..
Overall, my mood is in a good place, my negative thoughts are recovering, and my emotions-well, they are still easily triggered but I know if I keep taking care of myself that I can heal. I am learning to see my shadow sides too while appreciating what I am given by others. I am learning to be patient.

Tarot Card: Tower, upright

Notes on card: sudden change, disaster, trauma, chaos, HAS to happen for renewal and balance, clearing out the old to let new come in, change is needed, doesn’t have to be bad–old ways no longer work, keep temper in check, control yourself, time to open a communication to clear misunderstandings, breakup, foundations were weak so not working anymore, relationship was so important to your identity– took pride in being a good partner and therefore stayed even while you were not happy, job loss, new boss, loss of resources, beware of funding/financ

Reflection: Hm. First card ever I’m shuffling out this new deck, and here comes the Tower again. I don’t know what it’s really telling me, except that some old ways are NOT working out anymore. I wonder what it is. Am I going down the same path and forgetting what I promised myself? Or am I on the right path to forgiveness and giving people more chances? I feel like the pain I had was so real, but the happiness I have is so real as well. I’m conflicted once again. I know my values and morals, I need to take it slow, be patient and allow things to unfold. I have been keeping my temper in check for sure. But, I don’t know if choosing “happiness” is choosing to fix the foundations from the basics on. I hope so.