Mood/activities/thoughts: (night) I did hobbies a bit in the morning, as well as watched various videos of other youtubers who do tarot. It was good to see their spaces and how they make their videos. I definitely feel like I could start a channel with my workspace, but I just want to perfect it some more, have more privacy, and I should know more about each card first. I’ve tried to do readings to see my flow, and I am not too satisfied yet, especially with my pace and the vocabulary I naturally use. I want it all to flow better. I promised myself I’d learn at least 10 cards today, but I ended up learning only 3 so I’m a bit disappointed in myself. Tomorrow’s another day to make up for it by doing 15 cards! Haha wouldn’t that be productive. I also need to work out, as I skipped out on a lot today. Emotionally, feeling stronger, but still swayed by little things. I can stay calm for the most part, and am able to choose words wisely, but I want to not lose my compassion and love for others either. It’s the conflict between my sun and moon, logic versus intuition, head versus heart. Overall, though, I am proud of who I am becoming, and the productivity I am aiming for each day. I am glad I have a hobby I am so interested in pursuing and can’t wait to make it something bigger.

Tarot Card: Eight of Pentacles, reversed

Notes on card: self-improvement, and becoming the best version of yourself, lack of focus, frustrated/disappointed by a lack of success and progress, losing sight of the bigger picture, can you adapt when situations change?, no effort into love, low motivation

Reflection: I’d say the low motivation is more related to my moods, when I feel the want to watch videos rather than learn Tarot. In a sense, I am “learning” still, as some readers give meaning and their interpretation of the cards too. I am definitely focusing on my self-improvement right now, because without feeling worthy and confident myself, I could not be happy in a relationship. I want to become my best self so I could attract those with a good mindset as well and not get attached to people who “need” me. Whether it was communication with others or myself, I tried my best to stay calm today 90% of the time, which is progress. I can sometimes get carried away by emotions and lose myself which I’m not proud of. I was frustrated at myself for not completing my daily goal for tarot or exercise. I think I need to just do it sometimes and not get distracted easily by my moods, that’s a flaw I’m working on. Anyway, I do recognize I also lost time with family, but am glad I got to eat both lunch and dinner with them 🙂 Hoping to do more of everything tomorrow.