mood/activities/thoughts: (afternoon) Saw fluffy white and black rugs at the 99 cent store downstairs yesterday when getting surprise birthday things for my teacher. I didn’t have time to get the rug and wanted to think about it more. This morning I decided I HAD to get it, especially for the price ($5-6). Asked mom to join me, but she wasn’t for it so suddenly, which is understandable. But knowing I wanted it for sure, although it was drizzling, I went out to get it myself. It took a while when I was there, as I didn’t know which size and color I wanted. I often see white fluffy rugs on social media, but I feel the black has more character and class to it. So I ended up getting the bigger black fluffy rug for $5.99 🙂 Here’s a picture of my current space with my laptop, a deck of tarot cards, fake bonsai, and fake lantern for decor:

Very happy with my purchase 🙂 I honestly love that it isn’t thick, but thin overall, yet with lots of fluff on the surface. Perfect for my needs. When I do get a bigger table in the future or when I move out, this could be placed on top, or I could always end up using it as a real rug for the floor too. For now, it looks beautiful on top of my bed as my workspace and eventually, youtube video decor.

Felt pretty hard to get up this morning too, but while eating breakfast I got a call from my elementary school teacher (the one we surprised yesterday for her birthday). She was so thankful for our surprise, and felt so special. She discussed how she had just been herself, and realized that was enough to make such an impact on others (us), and how she woke up this morning crying. I’m glad she felt special, she deserves that and much more for being so caring and making US feel special since our younger years. It was a nice phonecall with more sharing of stories and suggestions of where to go. It feels great to stay in touch, and upon reflection, shows me how much it means to give to others. We didn’t just give, we got lovely time spent with amazing people, that itself is worth it in life. Going to do a lot of tarot today, exercise, and work in between. I hope to really advance myself in this area and eventually inspire others to be the best version of themselves daily. Much love to you all.

Tarot Card: Six of Pentacles, reversed

Notes on card: try to maintain independence, someone feels taken advantage of, always giving, be careful who you’re giving to, maybe people can’t give you what’s needed right now, careful who you share with and don’t resent, careful not to be selfish, might get debts, be honest with self and others, lack of investment, greed, abuse of generosity, putting up barriers by not being open and kind

Reflection: Giving is about wanting to make someone else happy because you truly want that for them. It is not about yourself, although it might be a side product. However, it is always important to be aware of who you’re giving to, and that you have the right intentions doing it. I have been reflecting a lot and making sure I am honest with myself and others, so to avoid resentment. I think it’s important to openly communicate, and not investing so much even when confusion is brought in by inconsistent, unpredictable communication. At some point, you need to understand whether people truly care for you, or what they can get from you with as little effort as possible. Yes this may seem reserved and closed off of me, but if I don’t feel understood and appreciated for who I truly am, it’s essential to be careful of how much is given to those committed to misunderstanding you. There are always actions that can be done to show how much someone matters to you, if you’ve ever paid attention to them.