Mood/activities/thoughts: Today’s been rough in many ways, but also a lot about self love. I’d been ignored for my needs and wants even after trying to express them openly to someone I love and care about, many times. Unfortunately, when someone doesn’t prioritize it or want to prioritize you enough right now, it will clearly show in their actions. I’ve gotten no communication, no effort, and no apologies for their treatment toward me, only the same excuses and desire only for ME to understand their side. I’m not going to settle for any more excuses when I know someone clearly has and would make the time for what they truly want, based on their previous actions and on weekends, which don’t involve work. Instead of wallowing in my pain and hurt, I went on a run today, and later sis joined so it was some good sis bonding time. Later I ate lunch with family and then went out with sis to meet her friend. All good convos and laughs, so I enjoyed it. It was good to head out and not stay stuck in my head. I believe that if someone truly cares for you, they would make sure to do all they can toward healthy communication for a healthy connection. If not, they probably do not care enough to work on problems because you don’t matter enough to them, and that’s when you need to accept it and move forward without losing love for yourself. Shit happens in life, and some people just will not be willing to give up their freedom to care for you, once you don’t accept serving only their needs.

Tarot Card: King of Pentacles

Notes on card: methodical, planned and well-thought-out method will create success, no need to take risks, translate vision into something practical, not struggling to achieve what you desire, no longer have to prove yourself, faithful provider, fatherly figure, working hard to map plan, money’s flowing

Reflection: There was no taking risks today (Everything was planned). I agree there was the feeling that I realized… that there is no more reason to have to prove myself to others who are committed to misunderstanding me when it doesn’t serve them. I can and will make things I want happen for myself, rather than counting on others. I hope to keep working on creating my success here with Tarot.