Mood/activities/thoughts: (night) I had such a great weekend. Lots of hiking, walking on rocks, climbing, natural waterfall pools, and nature in general. Plus a cidery! I loved that place. Got to try a bunch of ciders (dry–>sour), and then had delicious pizza/burgers with them. I even bought one for parents to try. Unfortunately, they think the half sour one is stilllll too sour for them 🙁 Although I did get like 5-6 more mosquito bites this weekend, it was worth it –the views, her pets, good company, and just being active in nature makes me so happy. And we got to play card, tarot, and board games Sat night, which was very chill and fun. I was surprised how on point every tarot reading was for us (we did it on each other). I also taught them the kaboo (cabo, golf) card game and they loved it–we each ended up winning once. I’m thankful for my friend, her bf, their friends, and their pets. I like how genuine and real they are, no fakeness, just being themselves and very chill. The way home was a bit annoying when this drunk guy wouldn’t wear a mask, and put his hands on this older lady who called him out on it. Seriously, why are you making a scene just wear the freaking mask for an hour like everyone else, asshole. The MNR therefore took 20 minutes longer unfortunately. But it’s okay I got home in one piece safe and sound. Feelings wise, I am okay, tired, but also realizing that some people will be there for you when you’re down, and others feed off of your happiness. I hope I will be able to tell those who truly care for me, and those who return just to take more from me while not giving me what I mentioned matters to me.

Tarot Card: Ten of Swords, reversed

Notes on card: the more you resist, the more the situation will drag on, eventual ending, still carrying wounds, look ahead and choose a new situation, renewal and hope for the future, seeing the lessons that pain taught you, health improving, gaining wisdom, refusing to accept lessons

Reflection: I felt the need to clarify, to see which type of interpretation really matches me more at this moment. My clarification card was: Three of Cups upright. I’m guessing this has to do with me finally feeling a bit better about everything happening, and how feeling down can change once I try to get myself out of the “stuck” perspective. The three of cups is about friendships and reuniting with friends who support me. I think this weekend showed me clearly that I can always find ways to improve and learn from my pain. If someone makes you feel bad about yourself and your wants and needs, they never respected you in the first place. I need to be aware of who’s here to just drain my energy, because these friends were so willing to put their heart and ear into listening to my feelings and providing me with sound, unbiased advice. No judgments, just care. I am beginning to heal within, yet I still feel myself hurting. I hope I can get past this and become stronger for myself and my future. I know the right people and those meant to be in my life will make me feel happy and secure, not hurt and lose myself.