Mood/activities/thoughts: (morning) I’ve been burping so much all morning! Sometimes I feel so gross, but am thankful my family accepts me the way I am haha. I’ve also been having multiple dreams each night, some more memorable than others– I should really write them down and then notice if I see a pattern. Either way, they often seem to connect to my emotions felt before going to bed. I didn’t go to bed sad last night, so the dreams were less violent, nightmare like or saddening. I woke up and planned for my supervisor sessions occurring soon. I hope to do well by incorporating her advice. Anyway, apart from work, the rain gives me a headache, but it doesn’t look as bad as the warnings mentioned it to possibly be. I’m beginning to really enjoy rainy nights and the sense of calmness I get from them. In terms of my demeanor, I’m trying to stay level-headed and much more logical, as my emotional self has never really brought me much happiness, productivity, nor success. I’ve asked for a gift (related to tarot hobby) in return for conflict that has negatively affected me, but not sure if I should just treat myself instead. I’m so easily forgiving, that I don’t know if I’m choosing for my health and happiness long-term.

Tarot Card: The Devil, upright (jumped out)

Notes on card: lust, temptation, selfish desires, pursuit for earthly pleasures, okay to enjoy but don’t hurt others in the process, don’t pressure others with your wants, addiction (codependency), communication VERY important now, negative forces that hold you back (habits, behaviors, thought patterns), choosing short term pleasures at the expense of long-term well-being, loosen grip the negative patterns have had a hold on you

Reflection: It’s so interesting how I purposely did not directly mention my inner emotions in this post, and the Devil card forces me to look within regarding how I’m feeling and possible negative emotions I’ve pushed to the side for short-term satisfaction. I need to address those problems and make sure I’m not just settling for instant better feelings and neglecting what truly matters to me. The nightmares and bad dreams definitely show that some things follow me to sleep and bother me that much. The logical part of me may be a facade, or something I’m learning to use more often, but I need to truly rid the bad feelings to be healthier in the long run. Or, it could mean the logical approach is what’s helping me loosen the grip the negative emotions have had on me. I hope to stay independent and trust myself and not allow others and sadness get to me so much that I lose focus and productivity on my hobbies and goals in life.